A to Z of Police Squad

Frank, Ed, Sally, Jim Johnson, Jim Fell, Once, Twice, Phil, Howie, Weeks

A-D E-H I-L M-Q R-U V-Z
Frank: My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant Police Squad, a special detail of the Police Department. There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious at laundromats on the West Side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate hold-ups of neighborhood credit unions. I was across town doing my laundry when I heard the call on the double killing. It took me twenty minutes to get there. My boss was already on the scene.
Ed: Attempted hold-up, Frank. Cashier is the only witness. According to her, the gunman shot the teller, she grabbed the gun and shot the hold-up man.
Frank: It's the same m.o. as the others.
Ed: Could be, but this one has an interesting wrinkle. The gunman, Twice, is a good family man with no prior record.
Frank: Can I talk to her?
Ed: Sure.
Ed: This is Sally Decker, Frank.
Frank: Hello Ms Decker.
Sally: Hello.
Frank: I am Captain Frank Drebin. I understand you had a pretty rough time.
Sally: Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Frank: Cigarette?
Sally: Yes, I know.
Frank: Well. Do you feel up to any questions?
Sally: I'll try.
Frank: Where were you when all this happened?
Sally: I was right here at my desk, working.
Frank: And when was the first time you noticed something was wrong?
Sally: Well, when I first heard the shot, and as I turned, Jim fell.
Ed: He is the teller, Frank.
Frank: Jim Fell is the teller?
Sally: No, Jim Johnson.
Frank: Who's Jim Fell?
Ed: He is the owner, Frank.
Sally: He had the flu so Jim filled in.
Frank: Phil who?
Ed: Phil Inn, he's the night watchman.
Sally: If only Phil had been here.
Frank: Now wait a minute, let me get this straight. Twice came in and shot the teller and Jim Fell.
Sally: No he only shot the teller, Jim Johnson. Fell is ill.
Frank: Okay, then after he shot the teller you shot Twice.
Sally: No, I only shot once.
Ed: Twice is the hold-up man.
Sally: Then I guess I did shoot Twice.
Frank: Well, so now you are changing your story.
Sally: No I shot Twice after Jim fell.
Frank: You shot Twice and Jim Fell.
Sally: No, Jim fell first and then I shot Twice once.
Frank: Who fired twice?
Sally: Once!
Ed: He is the owner of the tire company, Frank.
Frank: Okay, now, Once is the owner of the tire company and he fired twice. Then Twice shot the teller once.
Sally: Twice.
Frank: And Jim Fell and then you fired Twice.
Sally: Once.
Frank: Okay, all right, that will be all for now, Ms Decker.
Ed: We will need you to make a formal statement down at the station.
Sally: Oh, of course.
Frank: You have been very helpful. We think we know how he did it.
Sally: Oh, Howie couldn't have done it, he hasn't been in for weeks.
Frank: Well. Thank you again, Ms Decker.
Frank: Weeks?
Ed: Saul Weeks. He is the controller, Frank.

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