A to Z of Police Squad Frank interviews Jill
Frank:	My name is Sgt. Lt. Frank Drebin, Detective Lt. Police Squad, a special division of the Police Department. I was out testing new emergency police vehicles when I got the call about a girl beaten up in what appears to be a neighborhood protection racket scheme. I drove down to Headquarters immediately. My boss, Ed Hocken, was already there.
Frank:	Hi Ed.
Ed:	Oh hi, Frank. I'm glad you're here, this is a tough one.
Frank:	What have we got?
Ed:	One scared lady. Couple of hoods beat up on her real good.
Frank:	Did she say anything?
Ed:	No. Nothing. Same m.o. as the others.
Frank:	All right, where is she?
Ed:	Right over there. - Oh, Frank, she looks pretty bad.
Frank:	I'm Sgt Drebin, Jill, and I know this may not be the right time but...
Ed:	Frank, not that bad.
Frank:	Sorry 'bout it.
Frank:	Jill, I'm Cpt. Drebin. Cigarette?
Jill:	Yes, it is.
Frank:	Well. I'm here to help you. Coffee? ...
Jill:	No thank you.
Frank:	... Tea? ...
Jill:	No.
Frank:	... Eclair? Rum ball? Tort?
Jill:	No really, thank you.
Frank:	Jill, you've got to give us something to go on: names, description, sounds, smells, shirt size, anything. Will you do that?
Jill:	I really should go. I shouldn't be here.
Frank:	Jill, I know you're frightened. These criminals, that's what they count on. Fear is their greatest weapon. Jill, if you help us, we put them behind bars for good.
Jill:	I'm sorry, but I just didn't get a good look.
Frank:	No, we can't get these vermins infest our city. We'll have a rotten, scumsucking cesspool.
Off screen:	Frank, please, I'm eating a tunafish sandwich.
Frank:	A rat-infested, worm-ridden festery boil.
Off screen:	Frank, cut it out will'ya? I'm talking to my mother.
Jill:	I'm really sorry.
Frank:	All right Jill, I see I'm wasting my breath.
Frank:	[To police officer at desk] See the girl over there? When she leaves, put a tail on her.
Frank:	[Goes over to Ed, who examines a map of the city] Ed.
Ed:	Frank.
Frank:	Are these guys concentrating on any particular area of the city?
Ed:	No, we're getting complaints from all over, all over town. But I've got a hunch they're concentrating right here.
Frank:	And nobody'll talk.
Ed:	No. I tell you, Frank, without a witness we're dead.
Frank:	Maybe we're just gonna have to get our evidence first hand.
Ed:	I don't understand, Frank.
Frank:	Well, let's say a new merchant moves into the neighborhood, and opens up a shop. [Hear it.]
Ed:	OK.
Both:	A new merchant moves into the neighborhood, and opens up a shop.
Frank:	And let's say that merchant attracts a certain couple of thugs, who demand payments.
Ed:	All right.
Both:	That merchant attracts a certain couple of thugs, who demand payments.
Ed:	That's a good plan, Frank.
Frank:	Al, go down to this neighborhood here, locate a small business we can occupy immediately.
Al:	OK lieutenant. I'll get right on it.
Frank:	What happened to your face?
Al:	I ran into a fire sprinkler.
Frank:	OK. Go ahead.
Ed:	Frank, you better take somebody with you. [As if talking into intercom] Get a hold of officer Nordberg. I want him to drop everything he's doing and let him come over here on the double.
Small Officer:	Yes captain.

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