A to Z of Police Squad

Frank interviews Jill

Frank: My name is Sgt. Lt. Frank Drebin, Detective Lt. Police Squad, a special division of the Police Department. I was out testing new emergency police vehicles when I got the call about a girl beaten up in what appears to be a neighborhood protection racket scheme. I drove down to Headquarters immediately. My boss, Ed Hocken, was already there.
Frank: Hi Ed.
Ed: Oh hi, Frank. I'm glad you're here, this is a tough one.
Frank: What have we got?
Ed: One scared lady. Couple of hoods beat up on her real good.
Frank: Did she say anything?
Ed: No. Nothing. Same m.o. as the others.
Frank: All right, where is she?
Ed: Right over there.
- Oh, Frank, she looks pretty bad.
Frank: I'm Sgt Drebin, Jill, and I know this may not be the right time but...
Ed: Frank, not that bad.
Frank: Sorry 'bout it.
Frank: Jill, I'm Cpt. Drebin. Cigarette?
Jill: Yes, it is.
Frank: Well. I'm here to help you. Coffee? ...
Jill: No thank you.
Frank: ... Tea? ...
Jill: No.
Frank: ... Eclair? Rum ball? Tort?
Jill: No really, thank you.
Frank: Jill, you've got to give us something to go on: names, description, sounds, smells, shirt size, anything. Will you do that?
Jill: I really should go. I shouldn't be here.
Frank: Jill, I know you're frightened. These criminals, that's what they count on. Fear is their greatest weapon. Jill, if you help us, we put them behind bars for good.
Jill: I'm sorry, but I just didn't get a good look.
Frank: No, we can't get these vermins infest our city. We'll have a rotten, scumsucking cesspool.
Off screen: Frank, please, I'm eating a tunafish sandwich.
Frank: A rat-infested, worm-ridden festery boil.
Off screen: Frank, cut it out will'ya? I'm talking to my mother.
Jill: I'm really sorry.
Frank: All right Jill, I see I'm wasting my breath.
Frank: [To police officer at desk]
See the girl over there? When she leaves, put a tail on her.
Frank: [Goes over to Ed, who examines a map of the city]
Ed: Frank.
Frank: Are these guys concentrating on any particular area of the city?
Ed: No, we're getting complaints from all over, all over town. But I've got a hunch they're concentrating right here.
Frank: And nobody'll talk.
Ed: No. I tell you, Frank, without a witness we're dead.
Frank: Maybe we're just gonna have to get our evidence first hand.
Ed: I don't understand, Frank.
Frank: Well, let's say a new merchant moves into the neighborhood, and opens up a shop. [Hear it.]
Ed: OK.
Both: A new merchant moves into the neighborhood, and opens up a shop.
Frank: And let's say that merchant attracts a certain couple of thugs, who demand payments.
Ed: All right.
Both: That merchant attracts a certain couple of thugs, who demand payments.
Ed: That's a good plan, Frank.
Frank: Al, go down to this neighborhood here, locate a small business we can occupy immediately.
Al: OK lieutenant. I'll get right on it.
Frank: What happened to your face?
Al: I ran into a fire sprinkler.
Frank: OK. Go ahead.
Ed: Frank, you better take somebody with you.
[As if talking into intercom]
Get a hold of officer Nordberg. I want him to drop everything he's doing and let him come over here on the double.
Small Officer: Yes captain.

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